Tabah dengan apa yang terjadi, Tuhan sentiasa di sisi saya....

Sy cuba untuk belajar bersendirian mulai dari saat ini, since sy sdh putus dgn ex bf sy. Sukar untuk sy bercinta semula lg setelah apa yg sy hadapi ni semua mengambil masa yg lama untuk sy pulih, hati sy msh terluka n terguris, its not easy for me to fall in love anymore with someone else...sbb hati sy msh ada dia....x pnh hilang dr hati...
kini, kami sdh x sama2 lg dan apa yg sy harapkn skg ialah sy fokus kpd pelajaran sy n sy mau berusaha sehingga sy berjaya....sy percaya pd diri sy sendiri yg sy tabah hadapi ni semua...dan sy anggap apa yg sy hadapi ini adalah cabaran drpd tuhan supaya kita sbg manusia akan terus memajukan diri ke hadapan...saya terima sahaja dgn apa yg tuhan berikan kpd sy dlm hidup ini....sy bersyukur kpd tuhan yg sy diberikan hati yg tulus ikhlas dlm percintaan walaupun sikap sy nakal n gila.....tapi sy bersyukur yg tuhan kurniakn hati yg ikhlas kpd sy dlm bercinta n setia pada cinta...
Selepas ini, i just move on with my life n my studies...masih jauh lg perjalanan sy dlm hidup ini..and i biliv with myself i can do dis n i'm strong......i still have my family n frens that always support me....whatever happened.....there's a reason...baik atau buruk, ada hikmah di sebaliknya dgn apa yg berlaku.....hidup masih panjang lg...yg sy perlu buat, teruskan perjalanan maju ke depan ......maybe one day, i will meet my Mr. Right.....yg menerima diri sy seadanya.....yg menghargai cinta sy, n dapat setia dlm percintaan n sehingga akhir hayat sy.....I biliv in a miracle....dan sy sentiasa berdoa untuk terus tabah dlm hidup....n i biliv the God will hear my prayer ..dan sy percaya dia akan makbulkn doa sy...I bilieve in God...
Tuhan sentiasa memaafkan kesalahan kita....dan sy berharap yg tuhan akn dpt maafkan kesalahan dia dgn apa yg dia buat kpd sy...sebab, sy sdh berjanji pd diri sy sendiri yg sy x akan memaafkan dia sampai bila2....sampai akhir hayat sy sekali pun....terlalu berat kesalahan itu sehinggakan sy x dpt memaafkan dia sampai bila2.....Tuhan sahaja yg mampu maafkan dia n Tuhan saja yg mampu balas perbuatan dia...i biliv in karma...what goes around comes around....kini....jalan hidup yg baru sdh terbentang luas di depan sy....apa yg sy harus buat....maju ke hadapan sehingga capai kejayaan dlm hidup.....dan sy berterima kasih n syukur kpd tuhan kerana berikn sy dugaan dlm hidup ni semua supaya sy akan terus kuat hadapi cabaran dlm hidup.........

~ 6 November 2009 - we're couple

~ 7 November 2009 - U brought me to ur village, and i still remember u told me, dat u never brought any girls to ur village. Me, the first one.

~ 2009 - we both very happy together, u help me if i need ur help, and i help u if u need my help..we're so happy together..and i can felt that ur my destiny.

~ The first month of 2010 - everything just fine, and we seems like no problem together..we date n we love each other..like the world is ours.

~ March 2010 - Until one day, i knew ur secret...that u've been dating with someone else. No one can explain what i felt that time, only God can understand me...u broke my heart ...u killed it..stabbed it till' it destroyed n damaged.

~ 2010 - But u still want to prove to me that u will change....u swear...u want to change..n u won't do the same thing again...u said u really love me...finally...i gave u one more chance to prove to me that u want to change....

~ Started from that day, everything's change including me...i cannot just trust u anymore...everywhere u go, i'll asked...everyday, each time i'll sms u...i always scolding u and fighting with u...i easily get jealous...and i always think the negative about u...don't u realize why i act such like that? it's because u broke my trust once and i cannot force myself to trust u like the first time i met u...don't u no that..this all because of u...look what u've done..

~ July 2010 - we still together..and we went for the rainforest...i'm so happy that moment..and i seen that our relationship will ever long last...cos..i noticed ur changes to a positive way...and i whispered in my heart..ya..maybe this second chance is worth...u have lots of changes...i like ur changes..and i started thinking that yup..everybody deserve the second chance..

~ 6 november 2010 - our one year anniversary....

~ 31 december 2010 - we're celebrated new year at ur fren's house..i'm happy that time..even i dun celebrated it with my beloved family...but i really appreciate that i'm with u during the new years time...

~ 16 february 2011 - its ur birthday...i still remember i gave u boxers for ur present....i like dat..i like to see u wearing those boxers...sexy....and i'm happy for giving u presents....dun no why...i'm just happy..

~ ...earrings..traditional accesories...jersy paraguay...and i'm happy when u gave me the leather handbag...i love it...

~ 2011 - but...i noticed ur changed this nowadays...since i moved to my new house...we seldom meet...and...u said u busy....i understand that ur very busy....i din angry at u...but....i really feel dissapointed when u treat me like i'm not ur girlfren anymore....it happened many times...i sms u, u din reply me...it happened many times...i still keep patient...i told to my heart....rebecca, be patient...he is just busy....

I understand ur very busy...u told me that u busy working at ur place mjc...its clearly make me understand but at least..............dun treat me like i never exist in ur world...its really hurt me...

~ 5 june 2011 - i sms u n u din reply me...i called u n u din pick up ur fon...then suddenly came up this message which u never been ever send me such message like dat for one and half years we in relationship.. ' saya bz...jgn kol saya..' ..... its just happened suddenly....just like that...

i was totally surprised with ur message....i dun no what to think anymore...

~ its just happened....and u broke our relationship...just like that......why don't u tell me earlier that u want to break me? i dun want anything...i just want ur attention towards me...i just want to feel that i'm not alone......i din ask more than that...dats all i want...

i guess...ur changed.....ur changed very well and faster than i thought...and now i feel really regret for giving u the second chance...and i'm very stupid cos i failed again....why don u just honest with me...tell me the truth..? i dun think u love me for one year and half of our relationship.... I'M NOT YOUR TRUE LOVE......

~ everything is just a memories................thank you for everything...........

Look what u've done.....

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

~ Think before u say sumthing.....

God loves me

Do i look like i'm happy? maybe for u...but i'm not.....

i'm not happy at all...i just pretending to be happy...

I just want to kill myself, n just like that.....so dat i won't feel the hurts...

but the God whispered to me inside my heart...that HE just teach me a lesson...to be strong...

there's no left for me here anymore....God loves me.....

Perjalanan yang terlalu jauh

Kecewa.

Satu saja perkataan yg sy dpt tulis. Perjalanan hidup sy masih jauh, iya...itu sy setuju...perjalanan hidup sy sbg sorang student universiti, yg mungkin tdk akn berakhir....tp in dis thing..3 tahun diperlukan untuk menghabiskan degree, tp ternyata perjalanan msh jauh....

di mana kesilapan sy? sy x mcm org lain...sy ada otak yg lembap...i tried so hard...i tried my best....i did my best...but still fail! kenapa? Di mana silap sy? ........sy perlukan kekuatan...sy perlukan sokongan.....sy perlukan bimbingan.....sy perlukan ibu bapa sy....sy perlukan dorang...

Lirik lagu AKU PERMATA ini semuanya ungkapkan kisah sy n disebaliknya...

Betapa jauh dihempas badai ku hanyut

Hati merintih terkunci mulut membisu
Perjalanan yang jauh bagai tiada sudahnya
Liku ranjau kutempuh dalam mencari jawapan

Di sudut kecil hatiku sering berkata
Apa yang terjadi ada hikmah sebaliknya
Ku beranikan diri menentang arus yang deras
Demi hari esok ku relakan…

korus

Haaa.. haaaa…

Walau tiada tangan menghulur
Kan ku tetap berdiri teguh ku bangkit semula
Tuhan, hanya engkau mengerti
Perjalanan hidup seorang insan

Kini ku jauh memetik bintang di langit
Berakhir musim dingin kini mekar bunga indah
Tinggallah memori terpahat di dalam dada
Terjawab sudah segalanya

Walau tiada tangan menghulur
Kan ku tetap berdiri teguh ku bangkit semula
Tuhan, hanya engkau mengerti
Perjalanan hidup seorang insan

Aku hanya ingin merasa
Kemanisan hidup di dunia yang ku dambakan
Tuhan hanya engkau mengerti
Perjalanan hidup seorang insan

Walau tiada tangan menghulur
Kan ku tetap berdiri teguh
Ku bangkit semula
Hanya titipkanlah doa
Agar permataku terus bersinar

Agar permataku terus bersinar

Lagu ni nyanyian Salma Juara Mentor 5, lagu baru.....dan semua apa yg sy rasa semuanya tersirat dlm lirik lagu ni...

Sila klik d Video ni untuk dgr lagu ni.....sekian saja dari sy...

I feel empty

I dun feel anything...being here is just like zero......there's nothing i could do, i'm so boring with my life, no fun at all...yeah! i finished with my thesis and all things but i dun feel anything dat i guess i should feel.... staying in dis little smaller room makes me feel nothing...alone all by myself here so sucks...can't wait to face all the busy day during dis intersession...i will try my best to score all those subjects......and yeah!! i extend for another 1 more year, cos there's still few core subjects dat i din take yet since my pointer for last sem was bad...less than 2.5 and yeah!! dats sucks!! i dun no whether i still can stand with dis university things anymore....being here so sucks! i hate for being a student..people expecting only all good and nice2 from me..but the real is, i'm bad...naughty...samseng..gengster..and i speak bitch too!! how come i could be a university student?? i feel pity for those my frens who were not qualified to further their studies in a university, cos they much more better than me...they good, they speak all the nice things..dressing properly, and sopan santun....unlike me...i hate school...i hate all those exams...i told my parents dat i want to quit, and yeah! they won't let me...sigh**

I'm boring with my life.....totally boring....if people ask me, where ur bf? lolxx....and i answer...erghh...he's working...then the people will starring at me and said...gosh! i think u single cos i see u like a single person...lol...u no wat..i do feel like i'm single too cos my bf has no time for me....i have bf?? nahh...i dun think so...i dun feel dat i have a bf.....so wat do u expect?lol...

maybe its better being alone naturally than being alone in a forcing way...huh..?? u get wat i mean? ...say to the hey, to the wat to the i dun fuckin' no u anymore!!!

SAKIT HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saya betul2 sakit hati ouh dgn dia....serious.......dats all i wanna say.

Dats y lah i'm so afraid to fall in love becos everytime i fall in love....will never ever long lasting!!!

Sy sendiri x tau d mana silap........saya? dia? errghh!! cukuplah....sakit otak sy berfikir...bgs lg sy fikir pasal study.....soon, i'll be back to kk, my hometown...sumwer i belong...Kalau ckp soal hati kn...of cos lh bah i love him...tp how.??? errghh......sakit hati!!! enough!